Ladies, when you’re Dating4Marriage, you want to approach your quest with clarity, ease, confidence and success.

And yet, so many women make mistakes during their marriage quests. Here are ten mistakes you want to avoid when Dating 4 Marriage:

• Leaving finding your intended marriage partner to chance.
• “Vague-ing out” and opening yourself up to random possibilities
• Disregarding your appearance and present-ability
• Treating marriage as a solution to all your problems
• Keeping your intention to marry a secret
• Making an extensive list of the non-negotiable characteristics and attributes you absolutely must have in a marriage partner
• Believing that dating is a numbers game:  the more people you date the better your chances are of marrying the RIGHT ONE
• Thinking that getting married is your best escape from an unhappy life as a single
• Believing that going out with prospects having different goals and values than yours is intriguing
• Considering that the longer you go out with someone, the better; and that simply keeping the relationship going for as long as possible is a surefire route to marital bliss. And yet, before you know it, you’re dating 3 years—no ring!

But successfully Dating4Marriage isn’t just knowing what not to do. It’s knowing what you should do.

For example, did you know there are important pre-dating steps you should take?

You have to be positive and open. You have to be aware of both your strengths and your shortcomings. You have to know if you are ready to care and share with a marriage partner, and feel confident to take on the responsibilities and rewards of marriage.

Remember, you won’t find him unless you can recognize him, and that means knowing what your goals and values are so that you can find someone whose goals and values match yours.

You have to be psychologically ready. Think in terms of possibility; don’t just focus on what’s wrong with your life. Think of what you want, and how to get it. Pop the negativity balloon!

You have to not be needy. Learn what  “neediness” looks like and how men run from it when they see it. Learn to build confidence in your strengths by getting in touch with your gifts: What makes you unique; what makes people want to be around you; what you bring to a relationship that makes it more exciting; what you’ve learned from past relationships that will help you create a new healthy relationship.

Learn how to get in touch with your challenges, also referred to as “baggage”; fix yourself before beginning to date. Become the very best person you possibly can!

Once you’re dating, learn how to make sure he’s the RIGHT ONE. Identify his character traits. Do they match the ones you’re looking for in a spouse? Learn the questions to ask. Learn how to pre-screen a candidate by asking for anecdotal descriptions. Past performance is the best indicator of the future.

And, if the candidate isn’t working out, don’t waste time! Honor your non-negotiable requirements and dump the duds who suck the life out of you.

Date Wisely. Dating with confidence is about knowing how to move forward and deepen your relationship.  You want to experience each other in different venues, ask unmasking questions, and evaluate responses based on how well they align with your personal goals, values, direction and preferences.  

Dating well is about knowing how to affirm each other’s lifestyle, personage and mutual impact; learn about what motivates and drives his decisions; about increasing trust, and gaining understanding, caring and mutual respect.

And IF he’s the RIGHT ONE, dating securely is about transforming from “I” to “We”; confidently committing to each other for the rest of your life; becoming engaged, marrying and remaining deeply and joyfully bonded forever; compatibly and harmoniously.

Remember: premature assumption of mutual attachment freaks guys out. You want to learn how not to assume that enough trust exists to disclose and offer too many personal life details too early; and how to gauge the degree of emotional trust and intimacy that exists.

You want to learn the difference between being a good date and being a good mate. Remember, infatuation, chemistry, romance, being “in love” and having a good to time are not long-standing ingredients to a good marriage!

Malka can help you learn what these long-standing ingredients are.

A one-on-one session with Malka can help you clarifiy your dating goals, develop a dating plan, and have you sailing confidently along the route to lasting marital bliss!